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Together Apart

by Brent Stewart

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1.
I’ve never been one of those guys Who feels that lucky in life It took a long time to be barely getting by And have a satisfied mind When something good happens, I take it in stride I don’t get excited too many times You’ll always find I am hard to high five I’d rather keep all that inside I’d rather keep all that inside Maybe it’s the way that I’m built Won’t take stock of how I feel All pent-up midwestern Presbyterian guilt I guess it’s all part of the deal When something good happens, I take it in stride I don’t get excited too many times You’ll always find I am hard to high five I’d rather keep all that inside I’d rather keep all that inside I’ve never been one of those guys Good at opening his eyes To see how things have turned out just fine And say “Thanks” for being alive And say “Thanks” for being alive And say “Thanks” for being alive When something good happens, I take it in stride I don’t get excited too many times You’ll always find I am hard to high five I’d rather keep all that inside I’d rather keep all that inside
2.
Back where I come from Men were hard and the women were tough Life was never easy But they had enough They did what they had to do There were no in-betweens It’s just one of Those unspoken things My daddy’s dad Didn’t leave him much Except to care for his mother And to be a good son And I don’t ask About the past or what it means It’s just one of Those unspoken things Year after year It piles up Generations pass down The baggage of Holding on to What you feel and think And we carry them on Those unspoken things Back where I come from We take a lot of pride In saying we say Just what’s on our minds But there‘s so much we keep Inside instead of coming clean And we carry them on Those unspoken things
3.
It’s a simple explanation I don’t comprehend The less I think about it The less I understand And I don’t know what it takes to love me I only know what I can know I don’t think it can be easy But you took my hand and never let go It’s difficult at times To believe you’re worth something Half of what I deserve Is all of nothing And I don’t know what it takes to love me I only know what I can know I don’t think it can be easy But you took my hand and never let go The only way my mind Can rationalize your love Is that I must be the luckiest guy You could have grabbed hold of And I don’t know what it takes to love me I only know what I can know I don’t think it can be easy But you took my hand and never let go
4.
Jumping down the rabbit hole Following a trail I too often go down After so many trips You’d think I would be sick of this But it’s my routine now It’s easy for you to say I can’t let this consume me When you’ve never been bit It’s eating at me night and day And in the morning There’s nothing left Another night I’ll be Up with anxiety Staring at the clock Mind is racing so fast How long will this last? When’s it going to stop? I know there will be brighter days Just right now The clouds are out That’s just the way it is sometimes It rains And then it rains again Another night I’ll be Up with anxiety Staring at the clock Mind is racing so fast How long will this last? When’s it going to stop?
5.
Driving down the road Listening to the radio Trying to make sense Of the world as you drive home When the things you can’t change Bring you down each and every day It’s time to find the frame of mind To take hold of the things you can control… In time You should probably turn the station Listen to some music By the time you arrive Your destination will be no different When the things you can’t change Bring you down each and every day It’s time to find the frame of mind To take hold of the things you can control… In time You walk in the door Fix dinner and sit on the couch Shaking off this weight Is tougher than it sounds Shaking off this weight Is tougher than it sounds Shaking off this weight Is tougher than it sounds
6.
Well, that really happened Now you’re left holding the bag You can say you were surprised You can say you been had Just as you turn around Everything upside down Hard to stand your ground Everything upside down Maybe it wasn’t planned But that don’t mean you understand Every time you feel relief A wave of grief takes you back Just as you turn around Everything upside down Hard to stand your ground Everything upside down It’ll take a lot of time For the confusion to end Everyday’s a quest To feel normal again Just as you turn around Everything upside down Hard to stand your ground Everything upside down
7.
We walk together through the park Hold each other’s hands as we talk So much unspoken along the way So many years, yet so much To say Side by side on the swing-set It seems like we were babies when we met Before long you’re older with your own kids Life makes it hard to realize What you’ve missed Pushing you on the merry-go-round It’ not fun going round in circles now We never had to worry about honesty There’s so much I wish You would tell me Lying on our backs Looking at the stars Right beside each other Together apart Let’s go down the slide before we leave Go back home to deal with reality Age changes everyone a little bit But it shouldn’t keep us From starting again
8.
Most nights, I lie awake My mind keeps running and won’t shut down As I feel you next to me There are so many things I’m thinking about The bitter truth, the bitter truth Is I’ve never loved anyone more than you The bitter truth, the bitter truth Is I should show it better than I do We always take for granted Whatever it is that means the most No matter how hard I push you You’ll pull even harder to keep me close The bitter truth, the bitter truth Is I’ve never loved anyone more than you The bitter truth, the bitter truth Is I should show it better than I do Sometimes you live long enough To be the story you’re trying to tell At this point, the plot escapes me Unless it’s that you saved me from myself The bitter truth, the bitter truth Is I’ve never loved anyone more than you The bitter truth, the bitter truth Is I should show it better than I do
9.
Take away the sky Take the stars Leave the dark Let the colors die away Leave me with Black and grey And I, I don’t need much All I need is your touch Take away the sounds Ringing in my ear Make them disappear Take the songs we depend upon No singing along Silence everyone And I, I don’t need much All I need is your touch And I, I don’t need much All I need is your touch And I, I don’t need much All I need is your touch And I, I don’t need much All I need is your touch

credits

released October 2, 2020

All songs written by Brent Stewart ©2020
All arrangements by the musicians, Brent Stewart and Mike Lescelius
Recorded at home, individually, together apart.
Mixed and mastered by Mike Lescelius at Misunderstudio.

Brent Stewart: acoustic guitars, electric guitar, vocals
Charlie Tabing: electric guitars, electric piano
Jake DeLeonardis: bass
Dakota Holden: pedal steel guitar, electric guitar
Tony Barbata: drums
David Grelle: organ, piano
Mike Lescelius: vocals

Photography: Maggie Stewart
Cover art: Mike Bass (www.zip-dang.com)
Layout: Katie Koester

Thanks to all the musicians and artists who lent their time and talents to this record, under extraordinary circumstances. Thanks to Daniel Tejada and Gareth Pitt-Hart for their friendship, musicianship and insight.

Special thanks and love to Maggie.

Support the STL Arts and Music Fund: facebook.com/STLARTSANDMUSICFUND/

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Brent Stewart St. Louis, Missouri

Midwestern Americana.

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